When Worlds Collide (Social Networking No-No List)

I must admit, I have been thrilled to see the recent connections from users on twitter creating a facebook and vice versa. For some time, I have almost felt as if I had alter egos for each account since so many tweeters were not on facebook and most facebookers did not seem to have a twitter account. Finally, the social networking world unites!

Happy as I may be to see so many of you wonderful people on both sites, as a long time user of both sites, I would like to offer some opinions. I hope that you see this as helpful. Everyone is entitled to use either site as they wish, but for authors, publishers, business sites, and general networking- some things work on one site that do not work as well on another. I am about to break this down from what I have seen/experienced. I hope this offers some help to you all.


It seems that most literary minds are much more adjusted to tweeting. Most of them live there, only visiting facebook now and again. Twitter is great because it is personal without being too personal. Tweets. Tweets are simple, sweet, and very matter of fact. You can tweet to hype yourself, your friends, your interests. You can tweet random jokes, links, and even photos. You have a following. How great does it feel to have followers? Pretty darn spiffy! Of course, we are limited to but 140 characters per tweet. That can kind of suck, especially considering we are the wordy-sort of folk.

Another good thing is shout outs. We have #MM (Mention Monday) #WW (Writer Wednesday) #FF (Follow/Friend Friday) and #SS (Shout out Saturday). We spread the love the majority of the week along the land of Twittersville. Twitter is great for that! I can not tell you how many times I have followed someone because they were listed in one of these shout outs by someone that I have found to be enjoyable or of like-mind.  In return, I have gained some fantastic followers as well by being listed in these shout-outs. Win-win.


Facebook is grand. The butt-kicker of myspace. (My-what?) The entire world basically at your finger tips. We have photos, status updates, events calenders, birthday reminders, groups, games, blogs, polls, questions, surveys, photo-tagging, family, friends, high school pals, exes, and now- lots of literary minded folk! (Oh, yeah and we can type beyond 140 characters) We also have the debate. Profile, Group, or Like Page. Hmmmm. What to do?

Keep in mind, I can only offer an opinion here.

GROUPS– they pretty much suck. I can create the “Michelle Picarella” group right now and add every single person on my friends list- my family and friends can add all of their friends, and by the end of the day, I could have well near 50k people in the official “Michelle Picarella” group. Sounds great? Sure…If you aren’t the one randomly added to a group that you had no choice in joining. Your notifications are officially flooded. Your email as well if you get notifications emailed to you, and somewhere in Idaho, someone is wondering, “Who the heck is this Picarella person and why am I in their group?”……DELETE.

Groups are good for the more facebook-savvy sort. Groups are also probably the most abused application on facebook. IF people like you, they can choose to follow, like, add you. Forcing yourself on someone- never good. Have some pride. You are going to come across like that nasty vegetable your mom shoved down your throat as a child. Do you really want to be someone’s boiled okra? I didn’t think so.

PERSONAL PAGES-  Bluntly, the name says it all. Personal and page. Yes, I do have many people that I have never met and most likely, never will on my personal page. Many of them-writers or literary sorts- that do not have other means of communication on facebook. Here is why a personal page should be a personal page.

  • Many of you have personal emails, phone numbers, and even addresses listed on your personal page. I am sure some of you do not realize this- but you do. That is unsafe.
  • FYI- You can only have so many friends on a personal page. After you have reached the limit, you do not see friend requests, if you have any that you have sent, those people can not add you. The end. Trying to rebuild those “friends” on to a like page- unlikely.
  • People tend to post personal things on a personal page. It’s awkward. If someone does not really know you, but support your craft or business on a personal page that you have created, they really do not care if your cousin has pink eye, or if your child said something cute. That is what family and friends care about.
  • It is harder for others to help promote you from a personal page. Like pages, blogs, websites, can be shared with more ease than a personal page ever could.
  • You need to allow some personal space between you and fans/supporters. If you allow someone you know nothing about to know when you are eating, where, what you had- when you vacation, how long you will be gone- Please, do not be shocked if you happen to pick up a random stalker or robber.


Yes, you are a writer, editor, publisher, or any business/trying to promote/sell something. THIS is where you should be. If you want people to like you or something you are involved in, a LIKE page is where people go to LIKE something. I think it was called that to make it simple. Leave it that way. You can run as many pages as you wish. Say you are an author AND you have seven books, a blue grass band, and an HOA. You can have a page for each of those things. Book lovers can like your books without hearing about your gigs or what day the neighbor down the street actually took down their holiday decor. That simple. It is the way to go.

That being said, there are things that you should avoid. Things that could hurt you more than help you, even with the best of intentions.


  • Post personal information on your LIKE page
  • Post things on your like page that have nothing to do with what people are there to like.
  • Post updates on your like page as if it were tweets. If you flood fans with facebook status’ such as, writing, taking a break, writing, who’s writing?, eating, writing, check this link out, writing?” You will find that you will not have many like fans, OR even worse, you have been hidden, which means, you think people like you,but they are not seeing a single thing you say. That is going to be great when you actually do have something to say like, “Book comes out today! Buy it!”
  • Send shout-outs as if you were on twitter- This works GREAT on twitter, and even once in a while on Facebook, but people do not accept the twitter shout-outs on facebook as well. You are basically littering a newsfeed, spamming it. This will also lead to un-likes, or being hidden. Not what you want. *I tested this theory last week. I have been @ on facebook by some wonderful pages. It was an honor. I felt great. I gained 6 likes in ONE DAY! Holy cow! BUT….(There is always a but…) When I returned the favor, and I did a few shout-outs in return, I actually lost five that had been fans of my page for some time. Who knows how many hid my updates. Do the math. Gained 6…Lost 5… So I gained 1 like on my page in the end. A great sign of bad marketing. I strongly suggest NOT doing this on facebook. Keep it on twitter.


  • Being Emo- Nobody want to hear that mess. No one wants to hear that you are a writer, but you think your work sucks, your life sucks, things are so bad. You have time to write. You obviously have a computer and internet. Get over the emo. You probably just got a rejection because an agent or publisher checked you out and saw what a Debbie Downer you are. Who wants to work with that?  Stop searching for compliments. We don’t have time to pep you up. We are all busy not sucking.
  • Posting rejection counts. Really? That is not okay. If you say, “Got my first rejection today.” or something along those lines, okay. But if you tweet or FB: “Rej Ct= 186” Don’t tweet. Edit.
  • Posting in anger that you wrote something controversial and you got a rude reply. That is what you wrote it for. To ruffle feathers. Get over it. There is always going to be a jerk out there, sure. But if you post something and get lots of people ticked off, you either did it just to tick people off or you do not have the skill level to politely express your point of view. We don’t want to hear that you are deleting people, or banning them from your site. They were just as entitled to have an over the top opinion as you are. Many of us can post on touchy subjects and disagree fully- yet still walk away as friends. What are YOU doing wrong?
  • Posting that you hate facebook or twitter and are going to delete your account. The only people begging you to stay are the ones that are too nice to say, “Shut up or do it.”  No one forces you to social network. You are there because you want to be. People so commonly stress freedom of speech without noting the value of the freedom to simply not speak if you have nothing worth saying.
  • Using four letter words. If the only way you can emphasis your feelings is with foul language, you are most likely not creative enough to be in the literary world. Sure we all know them, use them from time to time- but if foul language is as much of your literary wardrobe as shoes are in your physical wardrobe, you really aren’t presenting yourself as creative or educated. 

9 thoughts on “When Worlds Collide (Social Networking No-No List)

  1. “We are all busy not sucking.”–Michelle Picarella.
    This is one of the BEST posts about social netting *I* have read.
    Applause, applause.
    These are some great tips. Everyone should lean in and listen to this.
    I for one have all of the above. For me it’s all networking and sharing but again, these “rules” should be heeded.
    Emo peeps, listen up. NO one wants to read that!

    Great job, Michelle!

  2. I agree with Tymothy’s comments and I want to say, that this blog came on a day that I was guilty of letting my emotions run wild all over Twitter. I knew I shouldn’t and I did it anyway. Bad, bad faerie! (I did delete them all, though.) So, thank you for the cold shower. I needed it 🙂

    • Bad Faerie! LOL! We are all guilty of networking no-no’s. I promise, this blog was not intended to do anything more than help everyone grow their following/likes. Several observations led me to post this, including my own actions and fails. Thanks for checking out the blog!

  3. Awesome! Perhaps the thing I love the most about you is your ability to speak your mind. Doing it and teaching others how to and not to use social networking sites…Genius!

    • Thank you, Dawn! I may speak my mind a bit too much here and there! 🙂 I know that I am no rule setter for social networking, I just see so many great authors/pages/businesses that are worth the follow, but one of those things seems to hold them back. Like I said, I’ve personally done some of those things. It can backfire, and fast!

  4. Very well stated. I hate when people use facebook to air their “dirty laundry”. Not fond of all the “drama llamas”. I must admit that I am guilty of hiding alot of people who play “As The Drama Turns.” Maybe out of habit the four letter words are apart of your everyday language, but you can control what your fingers type.

  5. In light of all the details you made clear, I think many of us struggle with using social media. I also think, on the main, most folks are fairly private people and don’t like to say much. (like me) On the other hand, FB and Twitter gives us outlets for when we want to come out for a moment, so to speak. Nonetheless, the platform we choose to use, to interact with others, can be a bit labor intensive. Watch this, check that, configure something else; that gets old fairly quickly. In the end, I think we all have to figure out how things work best for us. As for those that have no compunction about airing ‘dirty laundry’ and otherwise attacking folks, I can only not reply to them. Still, all things considered, I love having met so many people that share ideas similar to mine. I’ve even met some friends I love hearing from. Even found a monumentally exciting professional opportunity too. (Know what I’m saying? #7DS)

    I said a lot to say this; Shelly, your points are clear and well stated. They are good food for thought. Newbie writers especially, should consider this post thoroughly as the develop profiles for themselves. Thanks, M’Lady.

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